People have been asking for an update on my online dating experience thus far. I usually tell them I'm still in the "gathering and research" phase. So far, no actual dating has occurred.
My initial observation is that online dating is quite similar to the old-fashioned, pre-Internet style of dating. Everyone you like doesn't like you and the ones who do like, poke, favourite and wink at you would never crack your top 100.
I have "absolutely no smokers" on my profile, so no, 61-year-old, daily smoking farmer from Elmvale, I don't want to meet you at Starbucks. I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but I don't have patience for those who don't even read my profile.
And there seem to be many of those. Similar to the "Hello dear one. I'm a Nigerian prince with a bucket load of money to give you" emails, there is an online dating version of these phishing message. I receive awkwardly worded form letter type messages on a regular basis – especially on one particular dating site. Dating tip #1 for newbies: Don't respond to any people who have not included anything in their message indicating they have read your profile.
The other common "phishing" message comes from those who "only have a few hours left on their account" and know they have finally find their true love in you!
<Cough, bullshit, you trolling dink>
Another thing I find interesting are those who message you from another country. I'm not sure what their purpose is . . . or maybe I do, and just choose not respond. I did reply to a fellow from Milwaukee who had obviously read my profile and seemed interesting. I thanked him for his message and noted that I was looking for someone a bit closer geographically. I also asked, for curiosity sake, why he reached out to someone who lived quite a ways from him. He responded that if there is a connection, distance shouldn't matter. It was a nice answer but I would hope I could find a connection with someone nearby before reaching out internationally.
Some of the dating sites want you to answer a myriad of questions in order to "match" you better. I've answered over 500 questions on one site that vary from "how many times a day do you brush your teeth" to "do you like being humiliated during sex?" Define humiliation? I'm out here in the online dating world, so I suppose I'm open to anything.
I've read some great profiles which have prompted me to tweak mine a bit. I've also joined another site which piqued my interest with its expanded orientation choices. I am now "heteroflexible." I must add that while it has widened the dating pool quite considerably with all these extra swimmers, it has made the gathering and research a bit more taxing. I am not a great decision-maker to begin with, so providing me with more choice makes my brain hurt.
But, it's a good hurt and I will continue on this adventure.
And to all those who couldn't be bothered to respond to my cleverly crafted, fun and witty emails: it's your loss. You're the one missing out on something great . . . me.
