365 Questions: The Beauty of Procrastination

Who came up with this project?? Oh yes, me and my friend Kristin. I’m definitely finding it a challenging initiative as well as an introspective one. I hope everyone else who is partaking in it, is finding that it’s stirring the brain pot a little bit each week.

I try to answer the questions as honestly as I can, for the particular moment in time I’m answering them. So much is dependent on my mood, level of fatigue and the amount of time I have allotted to answer them . . . though I definitely do not rush through them.

Week 12

80. What grounds you when the world around you is spinning?

These days it’s exercise. I try to get to the gym at least four to five times a week. Even though I’m a huge music fan, I don’t utilize it during my workouts. I prefer to be alone with my thoughts and use the time to think, reflect and even solve problems. I have found I can discover some pretty creative solutions when I’m on the treadmill or running outside. Immersed in my thoughts the workout time passes quickly. And, I always feel better afterwards.

81. What are your core values?

My core values are loyalty, imagination, altruism, action and honesty.

82. If you could live out the rest of your life happily, somewhere else, where would it be and with who?

I’m pretty happy wherever I am but it would be great to spend six months of the year living at my cottage and the other half in Barrie or maybe somewhere in British Columbia. I would hope to be with my partner (a position yet to be filled) or failing that, a few close friends like my sister.

83. What’s the nicest thing someone’s ever said about you?

I’m reading a book called Deeper Dating and one of the exercises is to have some of you closest friends tell you what your gifts are. I was blessed to hear a number of very kind things during that exercise but the one that really made me well up with tears was someone telling me that when I’m with people, I make them feel like they’re important. What a beautiful thing to say and I truly hope I do that for those I’m with.

84. What’s the difference between living and existing?

I think the biggest difference between living and existing is how you interact with the world. Living means being 100 per cent engaged (maybe not every minute but most of them) and present – open to opportunities and adventures. If you’re simply existing, you’re just marking time.

85. What do you wish you didn’t know?

This is a tough question to answer. I think knowledge is certainly power, and the more information you have makes you better equipped for life. That being said, I wish I didn’t know that it does all come to an end eventually. It would be great to be a time lord and have the ability to regenerate several times, but that probably has its downside too. Just another reason to live life to the fullest and not to bypass opportunities or the chance to tell someone that you love them.

86. How would you describe your life – in just 10 words?

For today those 10 words would be: I am blessed with an abundance of love and friendship.

Week 13

87. What are your top three priorities?

1. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle. 2. Staying mindful and present. 3. My friends.

88. What’s the best part of getting older?

Being comfortable with who you are.

89. What motivates you to go to work every day?

I’m on the downside of my career and coasting towards retirement, so it’s probably the paycheque that gets me out of bed and out the door each morning. That being said, I do love where I work – especially my co-workers who make spending seven hours a day with them totally enjoyable.

90. What makes you uncomfortable?

My right hip makes me uncomfortable most of the time but I’m working on fixing that problem! I’m also not the best dater . . . I’d rather just skip all that mess and head straight to the relationship. Because I’m introverted, it takes me awhile to warm up and to really let my personality out. I can be a bit quiet and reserved when meeting people for the first time – not always my comfort zone.

91. What makes love last?

I’m probably not the best person to answer this question as I’m still single at 54, but I believe that constant and honest communication along with mutual respect, affection and a belief that giving up is not an option.

92. What do you want more of in your life?

Clarity.

93. What’s one thing you’re really good at?

Getting things done. My friend Kimberly calls me a rain-maker because I’m usually the one who takes the germ of someone else’s idea and helps make it a reality.

WEEK 14
94. What draws you to someone else?

I’m drawn to people who are kind and have a wicked, smart sense of humour.

95. What does hurt feel like?

Hurt for me is usually a deep sense of sadness. I’m a sensitive soul and feel deeply. I cry during most movies and if anything moves me. So, when I’m hurt, it’s like there’s a vise wrapped around my heart.

96. Do you like who you are?

Definitely . . . I’m one pretty cool chick.

97. What does success mean to you?

I think that for me, success means knowing I did my best every day. And on any given day, my best can mean different things.

98. What did you learn yesterday?

I learned that it definitely takes at least 30 days to break a habit. You can go a week and think you’re good, but then something happens and you’re back to square one again.

99. Which is worse, failing or never giving it a shot?

I think that you always have to give it a shot. There really isn’t any such thing as failing . . . everything is a lesson and potential data for your personal growth.

100. What have you given up on?

I have embraced the fact that I am never going to be a handy person. I’m not one of those people who loves the idea of renovating my own bathroom or making homemade curtains for my bedroom. I’m a great helper, but I’ll never be the foreman.

WEEK 15

101. If we never had to sleep, how would you fill those extra 7 or 8 hours a day?

I would likely do longer workouts, write more and spend more time with my friends.

102. If you could change careers, what would you do and why?

I think I would make a good life coach. While I’m not always the best at deciding what I should do with my life, I usually have good instincts when it comes to others and enjoy helping people with their personal and professional growth.

103. What are your strengths?

I’m extremely loyal and dedicated. So when I decide to do something, I’m very focused and I stick to it. My loyalty also extends to the people in my circle. I’m creative and I’m very loving and giving.

104. What is your greatest weakness and how do you work through it?

I can be extremely indecisive. I think I’ve mentioned this before in a previous answer, but I’m learning to rely on my intuition and trust that I’m making the right decision. I’m also getting more comfortable in the knowledge that even if I don’t make the best decision sometime, it’s not the end of the world.

105. What’s your favourite day of the week and why?

I would have to say Sunday. I’m not at work and it’s usually an unplanned day, full of potential. And, most of my favouite TV shows are on Sunday evening.

106. What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told?

That there’s nothing wrong with this relationship.

107. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?

Why are my neighbours shingling this early on a Sunday?

365 Questions – What would I grab if my house was on fire?

Greetings everyone! It’s been a busy few weeks for me as I’ve been involved in a benefit concert at my workplace. It’s now done for another year and I can resume my normal schedule.

WEEK 10
66. What’s on your bucket list?
I did a 50 list a few years ago in which I wrote down some things I wanted to accomplish during my 50^th year. I actually blogged about it, so if you look back, you can read it. I managed to check off a number of items but like everyone, there are some things I’d like to do. I’m not a huge traveller but I’d like to explore Canada and the U.S. a bit more. Visit Newfoundland, San Francisco, Austin and Memphis for starters. I’d like to walk the Camino Trail and go back to Ireland. I also thought it would be cool to see a Springsteen concert in Europe. I want to find true love. See a play on Broadway. Have one of my songs performed by someone famous.

67. Favourite quote and why?
I’ve always liked the following Springsteen lyric: Show a little faith, there’s magic in the night. Were I to ever get a tattoo, that’s what I would likely get. I just like the message of always having faith.

68. Have you left words unspoken? If yes, what are they?
No words unspoken except maybe that so-elusive “I love you” to that special person.

69. Are you influencing your world, or is it influencing you?
I would say that 95 per cent of the time I’m influencing the world. I’m a doer. And I certainly hope I am influencing people in a good way.

70. If joy was the national currency, what work would you do?
I think I would like to be a life coach and help people find their bliss.

71. Who do you most admire and why?
I have a few friends who have been married for many years and I truly admire the work that goes into keeping a marriage (or a long-term relationship) healthy. Love is a choice, not a feeling. And you have to show up every day when you’re in relationship. We seem to be living in a disposable society in which there is more emphasis placed on the wedding day than on the days post-wedding. Things get messy, boring or difficult and some people just give up and think it will be easier with someone new. So, I do admire those who choose to show up and love every day and make things work.

72. What or who has been your greatest teacher?
I think life has been my greatest teacher. Every day, life puts us into relationship with different people and situations that help us grow as individuals. Every person we meet can teach us something. Every bad (or good) experience teaches us something . . . even if it’s learning what we don’t want in our life. I read a great quote that says, “there are no mistakes in life, only lessons.”

WEEK 11
73. What’s the most important thing you learned in school?
You need to share your stuff.

74. What would your obituary say?
I’m not going to write the whole thing, but I think my obituary would mention that I lived life to the fullest and was always there to lend a helping hand to those in need. I was dependable, loyal and made people laugh and feel important.

75. Is it ever okay to lie?
Definitely. Sometimes you have to lie to keep a secret, such as a surprise party. Sometimes a lie is kinder than the truth. When I give advice to people, I always ask, “Do you want to hear what you need to hear or do you want me to tell you what you want to hear?” If they want the latter, I sometimes have to lie.

76. What’s your oldest memory?
I have a memory of being trapped in my bedding as a very young child and being frightened out of my skin.

77. What colour is worry?
I think worry would be gray.

78. If your life was a book, what would the title be?
Hmmmm. The title would probably change on any given day. Today, the title would probably be “Love and Joy in the Pursuit of Clarity.”

79. Your house is on fire, what are you grabbing and why?
Assuming I have my purse, wallet, keys and phone, I would likely grab my jewellery box with family rings, my passport and my guitar.

365 Questions . . . boy, am I behind!

My apologies for the lateness in posting my answers over the past three weeks. It's been a time of cocooning for me and I haven't been in a reflecting mood. I promise to be more faithful as I JUST KNOW how eagerly everyone awaits my answers each week.

WEEK 7

45. What has grief taught you about living?
I wrote an essay on this topic for my friend Kristin’s Gifts in Grief project. Rather than repeat the entire thing here, you can read it here.

46. Name a time when you didn’t speak up – and should have.
There are tons of examples from my past, with most of them occurring in past relationships. There were plenty of times I should have said something about the way I was being treated or certain behaviours I put up with without saying anything. I don’t think I did the best job of being my authentic self in earlier relationships, and if I had, I probably could have saved myself a ton of grief.

47. If you could have one super power, what would it be?
A friend of mine jokes that his super power is common sense, and that he could pretty much rule the world with it. I think at this stage of my life, I’d love to have an eidetic memory so I could retain everything I read or hear. Not sure if that’s a super power or not, but it would be cool.

48. If you lost all of your senses except one, which would you keep?
Hmmm. Tough to choose between sight and hearing. I would miss listening to music but the world is such a visual place I think I would want to keep my sight. And since I’ve been dealing with an eye condition for the past three years, I have been thinking about vision loss quite a bit.

49. What are you most grateful for?
I am grateful for the wonderful tribe of people in my life. I am surrounded by good friends who lift me up on a daily basis.

50. What does your ideal self look like?
My ideal self is happy. Eyes glowing, big smile, healthy body and thinking positive thoughts.

51. If your life was a TV show, what would your theme song be and why?
The first song to pop into my mind is “Happy Talk.” It’s just a simple happy little song to sing and speaks to having dreams.

WEEK 8

52. You have an hour left to live, what will you do?
In a perfect world I’m at the cottage and can go out to the sundeck and just take in the beauty of the lake. Hopefully, I would also be with someone I love and could sit there quietly with them or maybe we’d make love.

53. What are you holding on to that you need to let go of?
I need to let go of my fear of doing things wrong. It absolutely cripples me. I’m a horrible decision maker because I don’t want to do the wrong thing or make the wrong choice. It’s an ancient wound and I’m working on it, but I still have some work to do.

54. What would you do if you could not fail?
The funny answer that pops into my mind is, get married. But I also think I would love to be a piano player in a jazz group.

55. How old are you, inside?
I think I’m 40. That’s a good age: A little bit wise but still room for some immaturity.

56. If you could offer a newborn one piece of advice, what would it be?
Be yourself and don’t worry about what others will think of you.

57. Would you give up your life to save a loved one?
I would like to think I’d be that unselfish but that’s hard to know. It would likely be a decision I’d make in the moment.

58. What would you do differently if no one judged you?
I try not to live my life based on other people’s judgment . . . and this gets easier as you age. I might have dated some women earlier in my life. Growing up under the shadow of very Catholic parents, I think I repressed that side of me.

WEEK 9
59. Is there such thing as a soul mate or true love?
I definitely believe in soul mates and that you can have several throughout your life time. For example, my sister is a soul mate. We always joke that we were married in another life. There are just certain people who you meet and have an instant connection with – these are soul mates.

60. What’s been your biggest heartbreak?
I’m a big crier . . . just means I care very much . . . at least that’s what it said on a meme I read recently. I have shed many tears after certain relationships have ended but I think when my mother passed away I experienced my first real heartbreak. That was the first major loss in my life.

61. Most defining moment in your life (good or bad)?
Such a tough question. I think when I made the decision to move to Barrie was the most defining moment in my life. I was moving away from my hometown, leaving my parent’s house and starting a new job. I remember hearing Tom Petty’s “Free Falling” as I drove through Algonquin Park and thought to myself, “what a perfect song for this new chapter in my life.”

62. If you were a colour, what colour would you be and why?
I think I would be brown. For no particular reason other than I like the colour and I think it's a very useful and practical colour.


63. Where do you draw your energy from?
I draw my energy from positive and like-minded people. They keep me grounded and energize me at the same time. However, being an introvert, I also need my space and alone time to get re-energized and recharged.

64. On your most challenging day, what gets you out of bed?
On some really challenging days, there’s nothing that can get me out of bed . . . or at the very least I’m only able to make it to the couch. But, it’s usually my strong sense of loyalty and commitment to others that gets me out of bed. I don’t like to disappoint people and do my best to be there for them – because I know they would do the same for me.

65. When have you felt most alive?
In the pit at a Bruce Springsteen concert. It’s my happy-to-be-alive place.

365 Questions – Weeks 5 and 6

I’m combining weeks five and six into one blog. Enjoy!

WEEK 5 and 6
31. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done?
My union went on strike several years ago and a strike-seasoned colleague said to me: “This is an experience you’re going to appreciate.” I thought my colleague was crazy. If I wanted to experience something new, going on strike was certainly not on top of my to-do list. But afterwards – almost three weeks later – I understood what he meant. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I was yelled at by strangers, almost run over and questioned by several people, including some co-workers who were still working. But, having gone through the experience I am a stronger person. I discovered different strengths and developed a new level of empathy. I literally walked a mile in someone else’s shoes and decided I would always choose to become informed before making a judgment on anyone else’s actions.
 
32. Greatest lesson you’ve learned?
Be yourself. Life is too short to be anyone else.

33. If there was only one season year round, which would you choose to live in?
I’m a big fan of fall. To me it has the best of everything: nice weather – not too hot or too cold, no bugs so it’s pleasant for hiking, and it’s pretty darn beautiful as well.

34. If money wasn’t an object, what would you do with your life?
I would retire tomorrow and focus on projects like PeopleOfBarrie.com. I would divide my time between Barrie and Barry’s Bay (at the cottage).

35. Favourite book and why?
I really enjoyed Life by Keith Richards. I like the Rolling Stones but wouldn’t consider myself a big fan. Someone lent me the book and I didn’t have anything else to read during a snow day and, I couldn’t put it down. It was entertaining, humble and filled with a number of great anecdotal stories about a number of musicians. It compelled me to read more about Marianne Faithfull.

36. What would you try if you had no fear?
I want to try sky diving. And, I’m working up to it.

37. What does being happy mean to you?
I was injected with a huge dose of happy last night (Feb. 2) in Toronto in the pit at the Bruce Springsteen show. Being happy for me simply means being with someone I love, doing something I love and just soaking in the joy that combination creates.

WEEK 6

38. What’s your why? (life purpose)

I’m still trying to figure this out! I’ve never been much of a career person – I’ve enjoyed every place I’ve worked because of the people with whom I’ve had the pleasure to work. That being said, I would like to think my life’s purpose is to bring joy into the lives of those who surround me. 

39. You’re granted three wishes. What are they? 

Here goes . . . pretty predictable :)

• Win enough money so I could do all the things I want to do, and help others achieve that as well
• The ability to play music by ear
•  To have a lasting, committed relationship with someone who loves me unconditionally

40. What makes a good person?

Empathy, compassion, honesty, openness, authenticity, and the ability to listen mindfully.

41. What would you do different if you were reborn?

I would probably learn as much as I could at an earlier age since we are such sponges at that age. I would focus on learning musical theory to help me become a more accomplished musician and I would try to learn French or some other language. I would also try not to put a lot of emphasis on other people’s opinions and to trust my own intuition.

42. When taking your last breath in life, what do you hope to remember?

I would like to remember that I did my best to extend love unconditionally to everyone around me and how much I was loved in return.

43. If your doctor gave you a year to live, what would you do or achieve?

I think I would just spend time with the people I love. Plan a few short trips and spend a few months at the cottage.

44. What do you like most about yourself?

I’m an excellent hugger and have a pretty positive outlook on life.