365 Questions: No, I am not a morning person

WEEK 21

143.        What makes you nostalgic and why?

Certain songs make me nostalgic because they remind me of a certain time in my life. The Irish Rovers or hearing Danny Boy will always remind me of my dad. Springsteen’s “Cadillac Ranch” always reminds me of my grade 13 year as it was one of our main party songs.

144.        Are you a morning or a night person?

I’m definitely a night person though I am going to bed a bit earlier these days. And, I can get up early for certain events (trips, golf) but it’s not my happy time.

145.        What kind of lifestyle makes you jealous?

I have to confess that I am a bit envious of those who just seem to have an easy time with relationships. My friend Kristin has decided there are two groups of people in life: those who move through life with ease in relationships and those who struggle. I’m in the latter category but I’m hoping that will change in the near future. I’m always hopeful.

146.        How would you describe the raw, unedited version of yourself?

Sensitive. Sexual. Tactile and affectionate. Quiet. Sweaty. Tired. Compassionate. A bit indecisive but moving in the right direction.

147.        How would you describe the sunset to someone who can’t see?

I honestly don’t know how to answer this question so would probably not be the best person to describe a sunset to my vision challenged friend. I might find a really beautiful piece of music with a lot of different parts and sounds and tell them a sunset is basically visually comparable to that piece of music. 

148.        Why are the things that are so bad for you, so good?

Good is relative. Everything in moderation is okay. But we all need to be a little bad sometime too.

149.        What do you know now that you wish you knew five years ago?

Your chance for love does not begin and end with one person.

WEEK 22

150.        What are you pretending not to know?

The balance on my credit cards.

151.        If you were a word, what word would you be and why?

I think I would be touch, because I’m very tactile and I like to touch people – whether it’s a hug or rubbing their back. It’s one way I express love for people.

152.        Why don’t you do the things you know you should be doing?

Sometimes it’s just too overwhelming. For the most part, I think I’m doing everything I should be doing but some tasks or activities just take a bit more energy.

153.        What can you do today that you couldn’t do this time last year?

I have learned a number of new skills at work. Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks? I have learned so much from Jaye, the graphic designer I work with and I am more confident in my skills. 

154.        What’s been the greatest adventure of your life?

Following Bruce around has been a pretty fun adventure. I joke that I have seen the arenas and concert halls of many great cities. I have met some very nice people along the way and been able to spend some great quality time with friends.

155.        When you think of ‘home,’ what comes to mind?

Home will always be Barry’s Bay. It’s where I grew up and still home to my favourite place on earth – my cottage.

156.        Do you give your loved ones the attention they deserve?

Definitely.

WEEK 23

157.        Do you believe in past lives?

Yes. In fact, my sister and I often joke that we were married in a past life. You meet certain people that you have such an instant connection with, you have to have known them before.

158.        What legacy do you want to leave?

I don’t have any grand ambitions, but I want people to feel like they were truly loved by me and treated with kindness.

159.        What is your personal blind spot?

My indecision or not trusting my gut instinct enough.

160.        Do you believe in magic?

I don’t believe in the David Copperfield kind of magic but I certainly believe there are magical moments in life as well as miracles.

161.        What does the committee in your head usually argue about?

What’s the “right” thing to do? If we do or say this, what will happen? If we do or say this other thing, what will happen then? Am I doing or saying the right thing?

162.        How is life asking you to grow right now?

Life is always challenging me to grow when it comes to relationships, and since I’ve been doing the dating thing for the past year, I feel this is where I’m being asked to grow the most right now. I’m learning how to be vulnerable and yet safe; how to develop trust and still be authentic. I’m learning how to set healthy boundaries and still be able to compromise for a partner. I'm learning when to let go and not to take things personally.

163.        In what ways could you be kinder to yourself?

In relationships, it’s not always about me . . . sometimes it’s about the other person and what they are going through. I need to remember that people are going through their own shit and stuff happens (or doesn’t happen) because of that . . . not because of something I’ve done or said.

365 Questions: Can you keep a secret?

WEEK19

129.        What limiting beliefs about the world are you holding on to?

Hmmmm.  I just wonder if we’ll be able to get it together in time to save the environment. By some accounts, it’s already too late but I like to think we can turn things around, or at the very least halt the process.

130.        How would you describe your childhood?

For the most part it was pretty idyllic. I grew up during a great time when kids could leave home in the morning and stay out unsupervised until dinner. We had great adventures. I was also blessed with a stay-at-home mother and a father with a good job. As my sister likes to say, we grew up in a one horse town and our family owned the horse, so we didn’t want for much. That being said, it wasn’t perfect. I loved my mother but she was a woman of very extreme emotions and the flavour of our days was pretty much dictated by her mood. I kept a diary for several years and many of my entries start with, “Mom is in a good/bad mood today.” But, the diaries also reference a lot of fun with good friends.

131.        What were you like as a teenager?

Again, if we reference the diaries, I’m sure I come across as a typical teenage girl: obsessed with losing 10 pounds, getting great marks and finding a way to get that certain boy to notice me. I was fairly quiet, and a band geek. Insecure but I liked to get involved. Basically, the social introvert I am today. 

132.        If you could send a three-sentence email to the entire world, what would it say?

Let’s all promise to treat people the way we’d like to be treated. And this includes the earth. There is enough for all of us.

133.        What, if anything, would you change about your life if you knew you were never going to die?

I would continue to eat better and exercise more so I could continue to enjoy life to the fullest.

134.        If you could start this life over, what would you do differently?

I don’t think I would make many changes but I would definitely start saving money earlier and adopt a healthy lifestyle at an earlier age. I would practise guitar and piano more often and learn musical theory.

135.        What moves you?

I’m a pretty sensitive soul and can be moved by hearing a beautiful piece of music or someone talk about the person they love. Any baring of the soul affects me. I cry during commercials, movies, songs, books, poetry readings . . .

WEEK 20

136.        If you could go back to school and study one subject, what would it be?

While I do love music, I think it would be cool to be able to speak another language so I’d probably take French.

137.        Have you forgiven yourself for past mistakes?

Yes. I’ve learned that there really aren’t any mistakes . . . just data. Everything is a lesson and every experience has created the person I am today. And, I’m pretty wonderful.

138.        What would you do if you won the lottery?

I would retire and I would also spoil my friends. I would likely start some kind of foundation or charity – probably geared to youth or seniors. If I won the lottery today, I would go to Europe and go to as many Springsteen shows as possible (bucket list item to see him in Europe).

139.        What is true strength?

Being authentic and doing what you say you're going to do.

140.        Are you good at keeping secrets?

Generally, I’m pretty good. I wouldn’t say I’m perfect but I keep the big ones.

141.        Do you think routine is important?

I’m a creature of habit and routine but I know it’s not for everyone. For me routine helps me be more productive and achieve my goals.

142.        Which fictional character do you wish was real?

There are so many. It would be cool if there really was a super hero like Iron Man.

365 Questions: Weeks 16 to 18

WEEK 16
108. What question do you hate to answer?

Well, I’m not really enjoying this question right now (just joking!). I would have to say that the question I don’t like to answer is “What do you want to be when you grow up?” At 54, I think I’m still figuring that out. I’ve never been much of a career person – I’ve always placed more importance on the people I work with. If you have a supportive team surrounding you, what you do doesn’t really matter. I like what I do, but it doesn’t really define me.

109. What cheers you up?

A good comedy can cheer me up but I usually rely on the kindness of my friends when I need a big pick-me-up. They always come through for me.

110. What’s your favourite time of day and why?

I know what my least favourite time of day is (morning) but it’s hard to pin down my favourite. I’m a night hawk so I tend to be more creative in the evenings, but, if I had to pick one favourite time, it likely would be around 5ish as that’s when work is over and I can get on with the business of having fun.

111. What’s the biggest turnoff in someone else?

I’m not a big fan of negativity or endless complaining. My sister says that you’re allowed to tell your story (vent) to three people. After that, it’s just whining. If there’s something wrong in your life, fix it. If you can’t fix it, find the appropriate people who can help you fix it. But complaining about the same thing over and over again, does not accomplish anything.

112. What one thing do you think people will say about you at your funeral?

I hope they will say that I made them laugh.

113. What was the best day of your life and why?

I think every day above ground is pretty good.

114. Do you really listen when people talk to you?

I really try to be an active listener.  But because I’m a problem solver, I can fall victim to trying to think of solutions when someone is telling me a problem . . . rather than giving them 100 per cent of my attention. 

WEEK 17
115. Is your life complicated by unnecessary things? If so, what are they?

I’m trying to declutter my house right now. I wouldn’t say it’s complicating my life but I’d like to have less stuff.

116. Are you a giver or a taker?

I’m a giver to the max.

117. What does love taste like?

Hmmm. Love tastes like a number of things: minty toothpaste, red wine, sweaty skin.

118. Do the people in your life bring out the best or worst in you?

I’m pretty lucky in that I am surrounded by positive, like-minded people who inspire me to be a better person. I have pretty much eliminated those who drain me.

119. What three things in your life would you change and why?

I would have less stuff (see #115). I would be in a committed relationship. While I’m enjoying the dating process, I would like to have that part of my life settled. I would like to have a bit more deposable income to do a few more things around my house.

120. What mistake have you made again and again?

Not having enough faith in my own intuition and I've made some poor choices because of this – stayed in a bad relationship longer than I should. Didn't change the oil in my car in time. I usually like to poll the audience (my friends), however I’m learning to trust my instincts more often.

121. When was the last time you took a big risk?

Did I mention I’m single and dating? In trying hard to present my authentic self on a consistent basis, I open myself up to vulnerability which is always a risk.

WEEK 18
122. What have you learned from your parents?

I learned the importance of giving back to your community from my mother who was an active volunteer. From my father, I learned the importance of having strong faith. 

123. What’s your favourite word and why?

I love the word minutia. I just love the way it sounds.

124. How many times have you fallen in love?

Three times.

125. Are you at peace with yourself? Why?

I’m pretty Zen at the present time. I’m pretty happy with who I am right now and what I’m doing with my life. 

126. What do you like to get lost in?

I can get lost in a good book or a lover’s eyes.

127. What makes you smile?

So many things make me smile: when a favourite song comes on the radio, puppies, watching my friends enjoy themselves, a witty remark, and so much more.

128. Do you typically listen to your head, heart or gut?

When it comes to work, I definitely listen to my head. But in everything else, I probably listen to my heart most. That being said, I’m learning to give my gut equal consideration.

365 Questions: The Beauty of Procrastination

Who came up with this project?? Oh yes, me and my friend Kristin. I’m definitely finding it a challenging initiative as well as an introspective one. I hope everyone else who is partaking in it, is finding that it’s stirring the brain pot a little bit each week.

I try to answer the questions as honestly as I can, for the particular moment in time I’m answering them. So much is dependent on my mood, level of fatigue and the amount of time I have allotted to answer them . . . though I definitely do not rush through them.

Week 12

80. What grounds you when the world around you is spinning?

These days it’s exercise. I try to get to the gym at least four to five times a week. Even though I’m a huge music fan, I don’t utilize it during my workouts. I prefer to be alone with my thoughts and use the time to think, reflect and even solve problems. I have found I can discover some pretty creative solutions when I’m on the treadmill or running outside. Immersed in my thoughts the workout time passes quickly. And, I always feel better afterwards.

81. What are your core values?

My core values are loyalty, imagination, altruism, action and honesty.

82. If you could live out the rest of your life happily, somewhere else, where would it be and with who?

I’m pretty happy wherever I am but it would be great to spend six months of the year living at my cottage and the other half in Barrie or maybe somewhere in British Columbia. I would hope to be with my partner (a position yet to be filled) or failing that, a few close friends like my sister.

83. What’s the nicest thing someone’s ever said about you?

I’m reading a book called Deeper Dating and one of the exercises is to have some of you closest friends tell you what your gifts are. I was blessed to hear a number of very kind things during that exercise but the one that really made me well up with tears was someone telling me that when I’m with people, I make them feel like they’re important. What a beautiful thing to say and I truly hope I do that for those I’m with.

84. What’s the difference between living and existing?

I think the biggest difference between living and existing is how you interact with the world. Living means being 100 per cent engaged (maybe not every minute but most of them) and present – open to opportunities and adventures. If you’re simply existing, you’re just marking time.

85. What do you wish you didn’t know?

This is a tough question to answer. I think knowledge is certainly power, and the more information you have makes you better equipped for life. That being said, I wish I didn’t know that it does all come to an end eventually. It would be great to be a time lord and have the ability to regenerate several times, but that probably has its downside too. Just another reason to live life to the fullest and not to bypass opportunities or the chance to tell someone that you love them.

86. How would you describe your life – in just 10 words?

For today those 10 words would be: I am blessed with an abundance of love and friendship.

Week 13

87. What are your top three priorities?

1. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle. 2. Staying mindful and present. 3. My friends.

88. What’s the best part of getting older?

Being comfortable with who you are.

89. What motivates you to go to work every day?

I’m on the downside of my career and coasting towards retirement, so it’s probably the paycheque that gets me out of bed and out the door each morning. That being said, I do love where I work – especially my co-workers who make spending seven hours a day with them totally enjoyable.

90. What makes you uncomfortable?

My right hip makes me uncomfortable most of the time but I’m working on fixing that problem! I’m also not the best dater . . . I’d rather just skip all that mess and head straight to the relationship. Because I’m introverted, it takes me awhile to warm up and to really let my personality out. I can be a bit quiet and reserved when meeting people for the first time – not always my comfort zone.

91. What makes love last?

I’m probably not the best person to answer this question as I’m still single at 54, but I believe that constant and honest communication along with mutual respect, affection and a belief that giving up is not an option.

92. What do you want more of in your life?

Clarity.

93. What’s one thing you’re really good at?

Getting things done. My friend Kimberly calls me a rain-maker because I’m usually the one who takes the germ of someone else’s idea and helps make it a reality.

WEEK 14
94. What draws you to someone else?

I’m drawn to people who are kind and have a wicked, smart sense of humour.

95. What does hurt feel like?

Hurt for me is usually a deep sense of sadness. I’m a sensitive soul and feel deeply. I cry during most movies and if anything moves me. So, when I’m hurt, it’s like there’s a vise wrapped around my heart.

96. Do you like who you are?

Definitely . . . I’m one pretty cool chick.

97. What does success mean to you?

I think that for me, success means knowing I did my best every day. And on any given day, my best can mean different things.

98. What did you learn yesterday?

I learned that it definitely takes at least 30 days to break a habit. You can go a week and think you’re good, but then something happens and you’re back to square one again.

99. Which is worse, failing or never giving it a shot?

I think that you always have to give it a shot. There really isn’t any such thing as failing . . . everything is a lesson and potential data for your personal growth.

100. What have you given up on?

I have embraced the fact that I am never going to be a handy person. I’m not one of those people who loves the idea of renovating my own bathroom or making homemade curtains for my bedroom. I’m a great helper, but I’ll never be the foreman.

WEEK 15

101. If we never had to sleep, how would you fill those extra 7 or 8 hours a day?

I would likely do longer workouts, write more and spend more time with my friends.

102. If you could change careers, what would you do and why?

I think I would make a good life coach. While I’m not always the best at deciding what I should do with my life, I usually have good instincts when it comes to others and enjoy helping people with their personal and professional growth.

103. What are your strengths?

I’m extremely loyal and dedicated. So when I decide to do something, I’m very focused and I stick to it. My loyalty also extends to the people in my circle. I’m creative and I’m very loving and giving.

104. What is your greatest weakness and how do you work through it?

I can be extremely indecisive. I think I’ve mentioned this before in a previous answer, but I’m learning to rely on my intuition and trust that I’m making the right decision. I’m also getting more comfortable in the knowledge that even if I don’t make the best decision sometime, it’s not the end of the world.

105. What’s your favourite day of the week and why?

I would have to say Sunday. I’m not at work and it’s usually an unplanned day, full of potential. And, most of my favouite TV shows are on Sunday evening.

106. What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told?

That there’s nothing wrong with this relationship.

107. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?

Why are my neighbours shingling this early on a Sunday?